What do you think of the "Dancing with the Stars" Season 13 cast?

• Hate it! Worst group yet! (43%, 3 Votes)
• Not good. Not good at all. (29%, 2 Votes)
• Good, good.... but needs some tweaking. (14%, 1 Votes)
• It's bad. There are bigger stars on our Curling team. (14%, 1 Votes)
• Love it! Best group yet! (0%, 0 Votes)
• It's great, but there have been better. (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Voters: 7

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It’s that time of year again, when ABC announces all the A-list celebrities they have landed to take part in the new season of their biggest show, Dancing with the Stars. This is the time of year when those big names, like Brad Pitt, Neil Patrick Harris, George Clooney, Emma Stone, Lea Michele, and Jodie Foster, are thrown at us as our heart beats with excitement over getting to see which of the big-named celebrities can dance and which ones, as we’ve suspected all along, really have two left feet.

That is, it would be that time of year again if we lived in a perfect world. For that matter, I would be happy with a semi-perfect world. Heck, I’ll take a less-than perfect world.

Because I’ve seen this year’s list, or, at least, the rumored list. And if this list turns out to be true, the biggest star on it will be Nancy Grace.

Unlike a lot of people, I don’t define the word “Stars” in the title of the show to mean only actors and actresses. There have been quite a few sports stars strutting their stuff, and winning, on the dance stage. Even a number of singers, especially of the boy band variety, have done their best Elvis impersonation on the show. And it’s never bothered me the show dips into the pool of stars of yesteryear.

Sadly, Dancing with the Stars doesn’t limit their definition of the word to that. If a person is in the news, no matter what the reason, then said person is considered a “Star” for the purpose of the show. After all, they did reportedly invite Octomom to be on the show a few seasons ago.

Even worse than ABC’s definition of celebrity is the fact that we have to watch the insipid Bachelor Pad in order to officially find out who will be on Dancing with the Stars next season. So because I’m such a nice guy, and because my forehead vein is already throbbing from my chiropractor adjustment this morning, I will sit through a barf-inducing episode of Pad so you don’t have to. And I may throw in an opinion or two about who makes the cut.

View the Dancing with the Stars list, live, after the jump.

7:05 PM CT: In the first five minutes of Bachelor Pad, we see America’s least-favorite Bachelor, Jake Pavelka, hit the road (I don’t watch this show and even I know that this took long enough to happen). Then we see a promo that tonight’s challenge is the annual kissing contest. This is going to be a long, long, long, long, long show. Ugh.

7:14 PM CT: We were just treated to the fact that Erica has injections into her lips every six months. And Kasey, Vienna’s fiancee, has bad breath. My life just wasn’t complete before knowing that. The things I do for you people. Ugh.

7:28 PM CT: Melissa, sweetie, please get over your stalking issues. My forehead vein, much less my sanity, can’t take much more of your incessant need to shadow Blake all over the house. Also, stop assuming things that haven’t been stated. You know what happens when you assume. Geez. Dancing with the Stars is going to make me sit through the entire two-hours of this show, aren’t they? Ugh.

7:40 PM CT: Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP! *sobs*

7:48 PM Ct: Melissa, sweetie, please get over your Blake issues. My forehead vein, much less my sanity, can’t take much more of your incessant need to have Blake for yourself. Also, it’s clear to all of America that Holly wasn’t expecting Blake to take her out on the one-on-one date. Grow up, already. Geez.

8:03 PM CT: I’m not even likely to watch Dancing with the Stars this season, so why am I putting myself through this torture just for the cast list? Ugh.

8:15 PM CT: Yes! During a commercial, they said the Dancing with the Stars cast will be revealed in less than 10 minutes! THANK GOODNESS!

8:19 PM CT: Holly, I don’t care that you liked kissing Blake while missing Michael. Whatever happens once Blake finds out what happens is all on you. That’s why you shouldn’t go around kissing people you don’t know. Geez.

8:24 PM CT:FINALLY! Here we go! Tom Bergeon and Brooke Burke is live to announce their “most surprise cast” ever.

• Ricki Lake
• Ron Artest
• Kristin Cavallari
• Cheyna Phillips
• David Arquette
• Carson Kressley

We’ve been duped! Only half the cast has been revealed so far. And one name, Carson Kressley, wasn’t on the rumored list. The rest we already knew.

I loved how they amped up David Arquette’s resume when announcing him, trying to make him sound like he’s a bigger star than he really is. Outside of the Scream franchise, he’s not really that well known. And Ron Artest decided to show just how humble he is by yanking his shirt off as he was announced. Classy.

8:34 PM CT: Holly, I don’t care. I really don’t care. I really, really don’t care. I just really, really, really don’t care. Ugh.

8:37 PM CT: We’ve just been told that we’ll find out the rest of the Dancing with the Stars cast in less than nine minutes. I so can’t wait. Not because I think it’s going to be a good DWTS cast, but because I can stop watching Bachelor Pad, which has GOT to be the dumbest show on TV today.

8:44 PM CT: Yes! Time for the rest of the cast! I’m so happy, cause I can’t handle Melissa’s drama anymore. After a quick review of the first six cast members revealed, they announce the second six.

• Nancy Grace
• J.R. Martinez
• Hope Solo
• Rob Kardashian
• Elisabetta Canalis
• Chaz Bono

No surprises with the remaining six cast members. That means the only rumor not correct was Ryan O’Neal. It’s also, on paper, the worst cast list in the history of the show. No one on the new cast jumps out at me as possibly being a good dancer, and the cast overall is D-List at best. And that’s being generous.

So what do you think about the latest Dancing with the Stars cast? Will they dance their socks off? Or will they fall flat on their face? Vote in our poll above and leave your thoughts in the comments below.

P.S. I couldn’t help myself. I watched the Rose Ceremony on Bachelor Pad. William and Melissa were sent home. Don’t know much about William and why he was sent home, and I don’t care. Melissa did it to herself with her flipping out over Blake’s decision to take Holly on the date. Now if you don’t mind, I need to go wash my eyes out with Scope, then gouge them out so I never accidentally see this show again. Ugh.