I’m going to try to get through this blog post as quickly as possible, but I keep getting interrupted by all the facepalms and headplants that my body is automatically doing just thinking about this story.

*facepalm*

See? It’s happening already.

As I had feared would be the case when it was first rumored a few weeks ago, radio shock-jock Howard Stern has signed on to replace departing judge Piers Morgan on America’s Got Talent. Think I’m pulling your leg? Just read all the news stories about it: People Magazine, Bloomberg, omg! from Yahoo!, Broadcasting and Cable; heck, even The Motley Fool wrote an article about it.

*headplant*

Ouch. Got the corner of the table on that one. That hurt.

While I had hoped that this would end up being nothing more than a rumor, like the one about Stern replacing Simon Cowell on American Idol, I knew it wouldn’t be. Simon had come out to say that he would love to sign Stern as a judge on America’s Got Talent. And since Simon owns the Talent franchise, it stood to reason that he would do whatever he could to get a contract signed with Stern.

And while I don’t like the idea of Howard Stern judging ANY competition show, he’s a much better fit on Talent than he ever would have been on Idol. As I made very clear back when Ellen DeGeneres was signed to be a judge on Idol, singing competition shows should be left to people with music industry experience, whether a singer like Steven Tyler or Jennifer Lopez, or a producer like Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell. With a show like Talent, all you need is some kind, any kind, of talent experience. Whether an agent, an actor, a game show host, or even a radio host. Talent competitions overall are much more subjective by nature than singing-only competitions.

That said, I don’t look forward to Howard Stern being a part of America’s Got Talent going forward. Of all the people I’ve ever had the fortune and misfortune of ever coming across on TV and radio, Stern is one of the most classless people ever. While he will clearly fulfill the rude British position on Talent (minus the British part, unless he adopts an accent), I have never thought of Stern as someone who could be diplomatic about things. Granted, Piers wasn’t much better in this area. And the same could be said about Simon. But Stern has always taken delight in making people squirm and in eviscerating them when given an opportunity. Are we really to think he won’t do the same on Talent.

As you can tell, I have little use for Howard Stern. Unfortunately, I’m going to be forced to watch him every week come next summer as the Idol Radio Show will continue to follow America’s Got Talent. I suspect, however, that my forehead vein is really going to be stretched out by the end of next summer. Others will be luckier as they can simply turn off the show and never watch it again.

*facepalm*

Ouch. Shouldn’t have been holding a pair of scissors during that.

So what do you think about Howard Stern signing on as a judge on America’s Got Talent? Is this a brilliant move? Or do you think it will come to bite the producers in the end? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.